Marriage

Valentine’s Day Tips: How a Dad Can Celebrate Valentine’s Day With His Daughter

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One question I often get from a father with a daughter is, “How do I spend time with my daughter on Valentine’s Day, or how do I celebrate it with her?” This is a fair question and quite admirable for a father to ask, because for one, they really don’t know how to show their daughter that he loves her in such a way that she can understand and love. A father can envision one way to show love, but the daughter may have a completely different understanding and definition of the type of love she would like to receive from her father. We call this, ‘miscommunicated love,’ and it can often lead to disappointment or tension in the father-daughter relationship. The good news is, and there is good news, that this can be resolved by willful action taken by the father, which can lead him to a greater understanding of his daughter’s interpretation of love from him.

Ask Yourself:

  1. Have I ever had a heart-to-heart conversation with my daughter to ask her what I can do to assure and show her that I love her? Daughters can be able to provide answers in various ways. This will depend on their age and their personal perspective on how they wish their fathers would show them love. It can be a daughter who would like to watch movies together or go to the movie theater with her father. Another daughter may want her father to go out to Carvel to eat ice cream together, go roller-skating, or just have lunch at Wendy’s. You may hear different answers from different daughters, but one thing they have in common is that they want their father’s time. It is said that daughters will emulate the relationship they had with their father with their future husbands. Fathers, think about that – the influence you make on your daughter now will affect her probably for the rest of her life and for generations to come. Take action now by having a conversation with your daughter, because you hold the ability to make an impact on her and her children in her future.

  2. Have I taken the time to connect with my daughter in a close relationship that fosters trust? Does my daughter trust me? Have I given her any reason not to? A daughter needs to feel connected with her father and know that he is trustworthy. Feelings of a disconnect and mistrust will often affect her in her marriage and with her own children in years to come. When a father takes the time to connect with his daughter, he is investing in her future relationships, because if she can’t have a close and trusting relationship with her father, chances are that she will struggle with trusting her future husband and family. The male figure in a daughter’s life is in need of trust fostered and developed by her father. Start now by learning how to undo or redo connecting with your daughter so that she can feel free about trusting you.

  3. We recognize in this post that a father has the noble role of affecting his daughter to grow to become a beautiful and healthy young lady. On Valentine’s Day, this is an opportunity for fathers to make their daughters shine. How can I do this, you ask? Remember time is prime and prime time is what she needs from you. Have a heart-to-heart conversation with her and ask her questions that would humble any father. Isn’t humility a character trait worth teaching her? Think of how that can affect her relationship with her husband and even her children one day. Remember, you have that noble role to not only teach her about humility and doing the right thing, but living it out for her to see. One day, you will be able to embrace and enjoy the fruit of your labor in her and her future family, and to thank God for taking the time to invest in her now.
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Hope that you have enjoyed this blog. If you can relate to the content of this article and would like to ask for more help on how Dads can celebrate Valentine’s Day with their daughter, leave a comment below or contact us at DearDr.com.  We would love to hear from you and hear how you are doing with achieving success so far with the relationship you have with your daughter. Together we can do great things, have fun with it, and end the day with greater hope and joy prepared to do even greater things for the future.

Valentine’s Day Tips: Words Not to Say While Writing Your Love Letter to Your Spouse

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Valentine’s Day is coming up really fast and you still haven’t bought your honey a gift, have you? Maybe you’re wondering, “I don’t know what she wants, I wish I knew what he wants, or I’m just going to buy her more chocolates like I did last year and call it a day, that’s the ticket” If you find yourself relating to this then keep reading, because you may want to consider a different approach to celebrating the holiday of Love with your sweetheart this year.

We’ve all been there one time or another, for the wife, “I wonder what he is going to get me this year? I really don’t need any more chocolates, besides I think I’ve eaten enough calories for the whole year already!” For the husband, “I don’t know what to get her this year. We should just go out to Applebee’s again so I can have my favorite beer. Oh, I know, I’ll just buy her a ten-pounder of Godiva. That’s easy, it’s at the store right around the corner, she’ll love that!” Husbands, chances are that your sweetheart isn’t really that excited about you running to the local C.V.S. ten minutes before they close on Valentine’s day to buy her more chocolate. Here’s a tip for you, wives buy chocolate the rest of the year when they crave it, your gift of chocolate is not the only time of the year she eats it. I know that may be shocking to you, but that is reality, and that’s okay, because just like men grab a bag of potato chips when they crave them any time of the year, so will your wife. So why do you do it every Valentine’s day? Tradition? Habit? Guilt? Now just sit and think about this, because it could really well be a moment of enlightenment for you and a blessing for your sweetheart. 

Do you know what would really touch her heart this year for Valentine’s Day? Smother her with endearing words of affection, admiration and grace and watch her curl up next to you, twinkling her pretty brown or blue eyes right up to you. You could be her STAR just with the touch of a hand-written Love Letter that you took the time out of your busy schedule to enrich her life with as much as your marital relationship. It’s no fault of your own husbands, but you do forget that when you put time into going out of your way to write her sweet notes and a Love Letter, she will see you through a different pair of eyeglasses, ones that would make you smile and think back to the first time you saw her and fell in love. Think of that special day, seeing her pretty eyes for the first time, with her beautiful smile and the way she made you feel just the two of you being alone together. Do you remember when you undoubtedly decided you wanted to marry her and plotted out how you would surprise her with a ring and propose? Remember how nervous you felt, hoping she would love your plans and, of course, say yes? Now, years later, you have shared your life with her, started your own family and legacy together and it’s Valentine’s Day. What do you get her? Your heart, your thoughts, the loving feelings she gives you every day you’re with her, all put into a Love Letter.

What not to say in a Love Letter for your spouse: Remember it’s the holiday of Love, not sarcasm. Let’s start off by saying, if you’re feeling any bitterness towards your spouse for whatever reason, now is the time to confess it and release it. We all know how unforgiveness divides us and Valentine’s Day is not a day like that, rather a day that unites us. Make the choice to build a bridge of Love, releasing her of all past hurts, and invite in words that connect the two of you together. You’ll want to exclude words like, “I love you, but I wish you would have done ____!” or “I love you but, I hate it when you did ____ to me in front of my mother X years ago!” The Love Letter is not a place for conflict management or resolution from past disagreements, not at all! Make the decision to edify your wife with positive words that encourage her and make her feel like she’s on top of the world. We all know our spouses have weaknesses, so don’t share them in your Love Letter, instead tell her what you love about her, even times when she has done something so admirable in your eyes that you wish you could have done it. It could sound something like, “Honey, I will never forget, because it made me think how blessed I am to have you, when you stayed up all night to _____, or helping _____ when no one else cared. That was something I would not be able to do, but you did, and you did it without complaining, you’re amazing!” In your Love Letter, you want to bring up the times you noticed something she did or thought about and the strength in her that you want to praise her for. Your wife needs your encouragement and to notice things about her that she would not have. When a husband brings to her attention the beautiful gifts she has been given and the ways in which she has used them especially towards her husband and children, those are the words you’ll want to lavish her with in your Love Letter.

Start writing, take your time, clear your mind, and keep distractions at bay, because this is a very important gift for your spouse. You’ll want to give your best to her just like you did on your engagement day, though even better now after spending your life together, and making years of memories that will bless your children and generations to come.

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Hope that you have enjoyed this blog. If you can relate to the content of this article and would like to ask for more help on more words not to say while writing your Love Letter to your spouse, leave a comment below or contact us at DearDr.com. We would love to hear from you and hear how you are doing with achieving success so far with your Love Letter. If you’d like us to post your letter on our site, send us a line and we’ll send you instructions on how to do it. Together we can do great things, have fun with it, and end the day with greater hope and joy prepared to do even greater things for the future.

Valentine’s Day Tips: How to Keep The Fire Alive in Your Marriage

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So here we are again, another Valentine’s Day to celebrate just about a week away and you may be just scratching your head wondering…… “We’ve been down this road before; you know, did the date thing, went out to dinner, ate our favorite meal, indulged in delicious chocolate desserts and even finished the night watching a movie together. One year we decided to change things around a little and took a walk on the beach together. Another year we even decided to go on a cruise, our first of many to see a new place, you know Mexico and the Caribbean. Oh, and who can forget one year we went to see the Eiffel Tower in Paris, so we’ve been there and done that, traveled a little here and a little there. So what are we going to do this time around? More dinners? More traveling around? Ugh, I just don’t feel like going through the motions anymore. What’s the point of it all anyway when we just end up feeling so tired at the end of the night after spending hundreds of dollars on ourselves to boot? Isn’t there a better way to celebrate Valentine’s Day without the fuss and frenzy spending?” If this is you then continue reading about three tips on fresh ideas to celebrate Valentine’s day this year to keep the fire alive in your beloved marriage.

TIP # 1

Ask your spouse what their favorite pass-time to spend with you would be. It could sound something like this, “Honey, I am just so excited to celebrate Valentine’s Day with you this year. I know we’ve enjoyed so many outside experiences in the last years, but this year I want to know what you would enjoy to do with me more than anything else. I just want to celebrate loving you without fussing, rushing around, or spending more money.” You might be amazed at what your honey bear asks for, but as long as you can make it a special time together isn’t that what really counts more than any fancy plans of the past? Studies show that the happiest marriages aren’t the ones that spend the most money on each other; rather they are marriages that listen to one another’s desires and give of themselves, time, service or help. Perhaps your wife or husband has always had a desire to build a dollhouse for your granddaughter, or work on a project together. If that’s what would bring joy to their heart, wouldn’t that be worth doing?

TIP #2

Do you know of a young married couple, related to you or not, that would benefit from spending and sharing a meal with you and your spouse? Maybe they could use some role modeling or advice on how to have a good marriage and this might be your opportunity for you to help. Many young marriages benefit from married couples who have been together for a long time. They can learn of the hardships and conflicts and how to get through them as well as the happiest of times and how to celebrate them. Couples often need help from other couples whether their marriage is in trouble, or plainly just need some company from an experienced and wise couple. Consider with your spouse this year to invite a young couple over for Valentine’s Day. Cook them a warm homemade meal and dessert, then spend the rest of the evening sharing your ups and downs and how you survived and thrived from them, but remember to allow the younger couple to freely share their fears and hurts they’ve experienced so that you can help give the best advice. It is true that when we give help to others in need, we become happier, because we can trust that we can be used to make a positive difference in the lives of others.

TIP #3

Have you ever written your spouse a Love Letter? You know, the kind that is on real stationary paper and hand written with your words on it, not store-bought with someone else’s words? If you’ve never done this before, consider it now, because whether you’re a wife or husband, words soothe the soul, your words that is. It is well known that what you say to your spouse will either positively or negatively affect them, so watch what you say before you say it, because it will impact them. When you think of a Love Letter do you think about sweet, heartfelt words that give you goosebumps all around? Does it make you just want to melt and hug your husband or wife when he shares just how much he loves you? That is what a Love Letter ought to do. Remember, words soothe the soul and bring joy to the heaviest of hearts. Take the time this Valentine’s day to write a Love Letter to your spouse using only positive and encouraging words. You may just have to close your eyes and take a deep breath to clear your mind. Then, let your heart open up to smothering your spouse with words that share your heart’s best intentions in mind to edify him or her with all your heart.

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Hope that you have enjoyed this blog. If you can relate to the content to this article and would like to ask for more help on how to achieve keeping the fire alive in your marriage, leave a comment below or contact us at DearDr.com. We would love to hear from you and hear how you are doing with achieving success so far in your marriage especially on Valentine’s Day. Together we can do great things, have fun with it, and end the day with greater hope and joy prepared to do even greater things for the future.