One question I often get from a father with a daughter is, “How do I spend time with my daughter on Valentine’s Day, or how do I celebrate it with her?” This is a fair question and quite admirable for a father to ask, because for one, they really don’t know how to show their daughter that he loves her in such a way that she can understand and love. A father can envision one way to show love, but the daughter may have a completely different understanding and definition of the type of love she would like to receive from her father. We call this, ‘miscommunicated love,’ and it can often lead to disappointment or tension in the father-daughter relationship. The good news is, and there is good news, that this can be resolved by willful action taken by the father, which can lead him to a greater understanding of his daughter’s interpretation of love from him.
Ask Yourself:
- Have I ever had a heart-to-heart conversation with my daughter to ask her what I can do to assure and show her that I love her? Daughters can be able to provide answers in various ways. This will depend on their age and their personal perspective on how they wish their fathers would show them love. It can be a daughter who would like to watch movies together or go to the movie theater with her father. Another daughter may want her father to go out to Carvel to eat ice cream together, go roller-skating, or just have lunch at Wendy’s. You may hear different answers from different daughters, but one thing they have in common is that they want their father’s time. It is said that daughters will emulate the relationship they had with their father with their future husbands. Fathers, think about that – the influence you make on your daughter now will affect her probably for the rest of her life and for generations to come. Take action now by having a conversation with your daughter, because you hold the ability to make an impact on her and her children in her future.
- Have I taken the time to connect with my daughter in a close relationship that fosters trust? Does my daughter trust me? Have I given her any reason not to? A daughter needs to feel connected with her father and know that he is trustworthy. Feelings of a disconnect and mistrust will often affect her in her marriage and with her own children in years to come. When a father takes the time to connect with his daughter, he is investing in her future relationships, because if she can’t have a close and trusting relationship with her father, chances are that she will struggle with trusting her future husband and family. The male figure in a daughter’s life is in need of trust fostered and developed by her father. Start now by learning how to undo or redo connecting with your daughter so that she can feel free about trusting you.
- We recognize in this post that a father has the noble role of affecting his daughter to grow to become a beautiful and healthy young lady. On Valentine’s Day, this is an opportunity for fathers to make their daughters shine. How can I do this, you ask? Remember time is prime and prime time is what she needs from you. Have a heart-to-heart conversation with her and ask her questions that would humble any father. Isn’t humility a character trait worth teaching her? Think of how that can affect her relationship with her husband and even her children one day. Remember, you have that noble role to not only teach her about humility and doing the right thing, but living it out for her to see. One day, you will be able to embrace and enjoy the fruit of your labor in her and her future family, and to thank God for taking the time to invest in her now.
Hope that you have enjoyed this blog. If you can relate to the content of this article and would like to ask for more help on how Dads can celebrate Valentine’s Day with their daughter, leave a comment below or contact us at DearDr.com. We would love to hear from you and hear how you are doing with achieving success so far with the relationship you have with your daughter. Together we can do great things, have fun with it, and end the day with greater hope and joy prepared to do even greater things for the future.
